Just Stuff


I don't really know what to say about this page, it's just a few of my what might be moderately interesting musings and aphorisms. Please don't steal them, in most cases they go back years so they belong to me. By all means have a look at what there is, and even make a comment.


This is, or could be, a masterpiece of punctuation. There are probably umpteen variations on where those commas go, but this is my comma-sparse edition - the original. Don't let a comma or two detract from what it says.

When I was young I said that when I was old I would never say when I was young, except to say that when I was young I said that when I was old I would never say when I was young.


I have no idea what this means. Really.

Life is like going to the toilet, it's only when you get to the end that you realise there's no paper.


Rather more cynically, or sadly, idling life away summed up in a few words.

Life is like watching television, you're always expecting something better to come along in the next half-hour.


I occasionally write short film scripts which a good friend of mine very kindly translates into reality. Unfortunately I don't always, if ever, adhere to this.

Writing should provoke three reactions, tears, laughter, and an erection.


And this one - it would be mostly men, I'm afraid.

If I were God for 24 hours there would be a lot of bodies on the streets in the morning.


I don't use this, but I can't avoid seeing some of the excesses.

The value of social media is that it shows the true nature of the human condition.


This one is true. Why?

Wherever she is in the house or garden, within twenty seconds of me going to the loo my wife is banging on the bathroom door.


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