I don't really know what to say about this page, it's just a few of my what might be moderately interesting musings and aphorisms. Please don't steal them, in most cases they go back years so they belong to me. By all means have a look at what there is, and even make a comment.
This is, or could be, a masterpiece of punctuation. There are probably umpteen variations on where those commas go, but this is my comma-sparse edition - the original. Don't let a comma or two detract from what it says.
When I was young I said that when I was old I would never say when I was young, except to say that when I was young I said that when I was old I would never say when I was young.
I have no idea what this means. Really.
Life is like going to the toilet, it's only when you get to the end that you realise there's no paper.
OK, this happens to us all in time.
When I was young I couldn't understand why my parents found the world a strange and alien place. Now I am old, I can't understand why my children don't find the world a strange and alien place.
Rather more cynically, or sadly, idling life away summed up in a few words.
Life is like watching television, you're always expecting something better to come along in the next half-hour.
I occasionally write short film scripts which a good friend of mine very kindly translates into reality. Unfortunately I don't always, if ever, adhere to this.
Writing should provoke three reactions, tears, laughter, and an erection.
One day I shall write a play and include this line.
It's strange that the words portraying the most noble human aspirations, Freedom, Liberty, Justice, and Peace, are most likely the last ones to be heard before an angry mob beats you to death.
I don't use this, but I can't avoid seeing some of the excesses.
The value of social media is that it shows the true nature of the human condition.
This one is true. Why?
Wherever she is in the house or garden, within twenty seconds of me going to the loo my wife is banging on the bathroom door.
If you have any comments about anything then please mail